Hitler Did The Right Thing…

Relax. Not that thing. I have a few issues with his ‘pro-genocide’ stance myself.

No. Ze Führer did another thing. Something that would eclipse all of his previous atrocities. Something that would ensure he would once again patrol the bunkers beneath the Reichstag. Something that would ensure he would dominate the annals of history as not only a vicious dictator and diabolical genocidaire but as a cunning tactician and gatling gun-toting, sharpshooter extraordinaire.

He did a courageous thing, a noble thing, the right thing – Adolf Hitler posthumously allowed id Software to use his likeness and presence in their 1992 FPS Wolfenstein 3D.

Had he not had the good grace to condone such a pixelated arrangement, nobody except Hitler himself would have ever shot Hitler.

See, he wasn’t all bad? Pretty easy-going actually.

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Are We Asking To Be Stalked?

Despite a world in which anything is possible, sometimes I get bored with it all. Sometimes Mythbusters isn’t on the Discovery Channel. Sometimes Top Gear isn’t on Dave. Sometimes over 200 channels of globally available cable television isn’t enough.

It is in these moments that we must turn to the more macabre methods of self-amusement. It is then that we must undertake a solitary hobby. A hobby that requires the participation of two, but only the application and awareness of one.

I am of course talking about – stalking.

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Satan’s Role in Music: In Defense of the Devil

Satan. I’m sure you’ve heard of him. Cheeky chappy isn’t he? Tempting Christ. Tempting Eve. Tempting you. He’s a real meddler alright. But not just in biblical matters, many believe Beelzebub’s got his grubby red hooves all over our music industry. Satan has scattered clandestine symbolism throughout mainstream chart music. These subliminal messages are manipulating our thoughts, controlling our collective cognizance, and causing us all to commit lurid acts.

It’s all here people. It’s happening.

Turn on the radio right now to hear the Devil himself coming in your ears.

It’s time to wake up.                                               Now I am awake.

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Facebook Ultimatums

Facebook, first you insult my levels of social aptitude by implying I’m lonely, and now you’re offering me ultimatums?!? Well guess what, I don’t play by the rules. I don’t even know the rules. I don’t even know what game we’re playing.

Facebook has formed a barrier between me and internet freedom. Standing betwixt me and every climax, preventing my perusal of every punch line, restraining my attempted ascent to the summit of every internet witticism, is the same thing.

Facebook is holding content ransom. The price? A like.

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There’s More Than One Way…

Exactly how many ways are there to skin a cat? There’s more than one. This we know for sure. So how many ways can one defrock a Felidae? 2 perhaps? 10? 100? More? The world desires a definitive answer on the wealth of ways in which one can abrade a Abyssinian, decorticate a Donskoy, exuviate an Egyptian Mau or simply scalp a Somali…

Renowned cat expert Eleanor Abernathy has been amassing and excoriating cats for decades. Devoting her life to her research, she has pioneered a plethora of techniques to strip away the skin of a stray.

In order to emulate her expertise you’ll need several tools, access to an appropriate facility and of course; a cat.

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